Womans Wound - Solo Warrior Mindset (Over-Independence)

Description:

This mindset revolves around the need to do everything oneself, often to the point of burnout. This wound can hinder collaboration, connection, and the ability to ask for help.

• Finds it difficult to ask for help or delegate tasks.
• Believes others may not do the job “right,” so prefers to handle it alone.
• Frequently feels overburdened, stressed, or burnt out.
• Struggles with accepting support, even when needed.
• Feels a need to control all aspects of work or life to feel secure.

Mode of Survival: 

• Fight: You might aggressively resist any help or interference, feeling like you must do everything yourself. You might argue that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
• Flight: You might avoid collaboration or delegating, isolating yourself in an attempt to handle everything on your own, even if it’s overwhelming.
• Freeze: You might freeze up in situations where help or teamwork is needed because you’re unsure how to accept assistance or collaborate.
• Fawn: You may end up over-pleasing by saying yes to others’ requests even when it’s too much, trying to prove your worth by taking everything on yourself.

Origins:

• Childhood: A need to be self-sufficient, possibly from being told that asking for help was weak or from having to take on responsibilities early.
• Ancestral: Generational trauma around relying on others; family members may have had to “do it all” due to lack of support.
• Society: Western culture often idolises independence, especially in women, as a form of strength.

Journaling Exercise:
Write about a recent time when you wished for or needed support but didn’t ask for it. Reflect on why you didn’t reach out and what might have happened if you had. Then, write a message to your past self, encouraging them to ask for help.

Reflection Questions:

• What do I fear might happen if I rely on others?
• How would it feel to trust that I don’t have to do everything alone?
• Who in my life would genuinely enjoy helping me, and how might I involve them?

Clearing Methods:

• Mental: Challenge the belief that “asking for help is weakness.” List ways support can amplify your strengths.
• Physical: Partner exercises in yoga or other wellness practices to build trust and release tension around teamwork.
• Spiritual: Practice rituals of surrender, like prayer or journaling intentions for receiving. Meditate on trust and connection, envisioning yourself supported by a network of love and strength.

Whenever you feel stuck or notice recurring struggles, revisit the questionnaire to identify which block or protector might be holding you back. For lasting results, commit to practicing the clearing techniques consistently for 30 days; this will help you create a strong foundation and build a habit that supports ongoing growth and transformation